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The Neglected Question : How are You ?

  • Carmen Brandy
  • Jun 25, 2016
  • 3 min read

Today’s blog post will be different then my usual updates. Instead of me writing about my personal journey’s and you reading about them, I will be asking you all a series of questions you can ask yourself mentally. Before I do that, I want to set the scene for you all so you know where I’m coming from.

How are you ?

You’re probably sitting there scratching your head wondering why I think “How are you?” is a neglected question. Matter of fact, that simple question we ask most likely more then any other question. Nowadays, it seems it’s just a natural thing to do. You see your friend at the mall, you ask them. You get coffee with a co-worker, you ask them. The examples could go for miles… But, what would happen if people truly expressed how they really felt in that moment? I have lost track for how many times I’ve simply said “Fine” or “I’m great” to people who’ve asked me how I am, when in that very moment, I am going through hell and back - meanwhile lying straight to there faces. Why don’t we share our truth ? Burdening other’s I would presume. That’s the answer I’ve received when I’ve had this conversation with others. Personally, I find that to be absolutely absurd. God didn’t put us on this earth to ignore each other, He said in 1 Corinthians 12:26, “If one member suffers, all suffer together; If one member is honored, all rejoice together.”. I strongly believe that God wants us dearly to rely on our fellow brothers and sister in Christ in times of tragedy, heartache and suffering. Here is my point : Why ask the question unless you are prepared to receive the true answer? Why answer the question and not express your truth? Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable… Don’t be afraid to be strong and courageous while listening to your brother or sisters express their hearts. Don’t neglect asking or answering this important question in your time of need! Here are some questions to ask yourself:


Do I care to know how people are ?

Have I ever been honest when I’m asked “How are You?”

Do I share my struggles with others?

Do I feel like I’m burdening someone when I’m honest?

Am I sharing my feeling’s to the right people ?

Now, I’m not saying you have to answer every time when people ask “How are you” exactly how you’re feeling without leaving any detail out. I do think it’s awesome when someones honest with people even when it’s cordial. However, guard your heart and make sure your sharing this precious information with the right people. Before I wrap this blog post up I want to share one last thing with you all. Be the person to ASK the question and ANSWER the question. I couldn’t imagine facing life without some of the incredible friendships I’ve made and the amazing “How are you” conversations that have brought me out extremely difficult times - Or should I say continue to bring me out of extremely difficult times. I’ll leave you with this Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them fall’s down, one can help the other up.”

With love,

Carmen xx


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